24/7 Helpline:

Safety During an Explosive Incident:

If an argument is unavoidable or things are escalating, try to get to a more open space or area with an exit or try to avoid areas with potential weapons (such as kitchens) or windowless rooms. 

• Practice how to leave your living space safely—know your best exit routes. 

• Keep an extra set of keys and a packed bag in a discreet, accessible place (if you are able). 

• Identify a trusted neighbor to create a plan for them to notify the police if they hear a disturbance or receive an established signal. 

• Create a code word with support such as a friend, family, or case manager for when you need help or to call the police. 

• Teach your children emergency numbers and discuss staying safe during an explosive incident. 

• Have a planned safe place to go if you need to leave, even if it’s just temporary (such as hospital waiting room, police station, library, friend’s place, or cooling/warming center). 

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Remember that you know best how to stay safe at the moment and follow your instincts.  

Safety

 

If Preparing to Leave:

• Consider opening a post office box for mail privacy or possibly using a trusted person's address for mail.  

• Open your own checking and savings account or try to safely hide money as you are able to.  

• Create an emergency bag with essentials (see example list below). 

• Keep Family Violence Project’s 24-Hour Helpline number on hand in a hidden or safe place. 

• Consider creating a new private email account or change your current email password. Review shared online accounts.  

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Remember, leaving is the most dangerous time—plan carefully and frequently review your safety plan. If you are considering telling your partner you are leaving, we have heard from survivors that it may be safer to talk to them after you leave. 

 

Emergency Bag Checklist: 

• Birth certificates, social security cards, or other forms of identification. 

• Legal documents, school records, pet vaccination records, and insurance papers. 

• Money, bank details, and credit cards. 

• Medications and medical documents. 

• Burner phones with important contact information or a written list of phone contacts.  

• Nonperishable food for yourself, children, and pets. 

• Your child’s favorite toy or other comfort items. 

• Extra clothes. 

• Phone charger. 

 

Safety with a Protection Order:

• Always carry your protection order with you. 

• It is your right to call the police if the terms of your order are violated (if that feels like a safe option). Whether you choose to report all violations or not, keep a personal log with the times and dates of violations.  

• Share details or copies of the order with family, friends, and relevant others (e.g., teachers, childcare provider, employer, trusted neighbor, landlord). 

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If you’d like support in understanding your current protection order, reach out to Family Violence Project’s helpline. 

 

Safety After Leaving:

• Inform school, daycare, neighbors, and landlords about your partner not living with you. 

• Change locks and secure windows and doors (if you’re renting you may be able to contact your landlord for help). 

• Consider using cameras to monitor living space.  

• Talk to your children about: 

•  Safety if you're not home (not answering the door, keep the doors locked, etc.). 

• Keeping your location private (no address sharing, disabling location on social media, etc.)  

• Consider an emergency safety plan (a safe meeting space, code word, etc.) 

• Change your phone number and screen for calls (there are free apps for this). 

• Change your email account and update all online accounts with new addresses and passwords. 

• Save threatening messages, emails, and texts for legal protection and log dates and times of each event. 

• Consult with a lawyer for legal advice on custody, visitation, and divorce. 

• If you have a vehicle that you think is being tracked check with a mechanic about having your vehicle swept for tracking devices.  

• Update legal documents with current information (new address, name change, etc.) 

• Reach out to support groups for emotional help and learn more about available resources. 

 

Safety at Work & In Public:

• Share your situation with trusted coworkers, employers, and those in charge of security. Provide a photo of your previous partner, name, and protection order (if applicable). 

• Arrange for someone to escort you to your ride before or after work. 

• Have alternative routes home and know the nearest police station. 

• If you and your previous partner work together, discuss safety precautions with your supervisor.